Top 10 Christmas TV Episodes (of all time)
December 4th, 2008 by BarakAs a Jewish man, I don’t have a Christmas tree in my house, I don’t get presents, and I’m agnostic about Santa Claus. I do anticipate Christmas impatiently though, and that’s because of the special TV Christmas episodes. They’re usually better than the regular episodes and live up to their “special” name. Hanukah comes around the same time as Christmas and I tend to mix the two holidays together: while eating latkes and spinning a dreidel, I watch a special Christmas episode of my favorite TV show. It’s kind of a Hanuchristmas for me.
While we’re getting into the holiday spirit and waiting for this year’s surprises, here is my list of all-time top ten TV Christmas episodes:
The Death in the Family Christmas (never in real life, I hope)
10. Six Feet Under: Pilot
While preparing Christmas dinner, Ruth is on the phone with her husband. He’s in his car and they get into a fight because she realizes he’s smoking. She tells him he’ll cause himself a slow and painful death. They end the conversation and a second after he’s hit by a truck and dies a not-so-slow but pretty painful death.
Ruth’s kids arrive at the turned-tragic Christmas family gathering. Adolescent Clair arrives stoned; eldest, womanizer Nate makes his homecoming after casual sex with a woman he met in the airport; and David brings his African-American cop spouse Keith with him - who nobody knows as David didn’t come out yet. During the family gathering, Nate and David hallucinate conversations with their deceased father and Ruth confesses she cheated on her husband for years.
The Dysfunctional Family Christmas
9. 30 Rock: Ludachristmas
Liz’s supposedly-perfect family (the Lemons…) arrives for Christmas - and so does Jack’s mother. Liz’s parents are very supporting, loving and warm. Jack’s mother… not so much. Jack to his mother: “Some terrorist cells are more nurturing than you.” At dinner, Jack’s mom is trying to turn the Lemons against one another to prove that they’re as dysfunctional as she and Jack are. She succeeds and Jack is happy to be proven right - there is no such thing as a perfect family. And so he wishes his mother a merry Christmas.
The Chaos and Mayhem Christmas
8. Family Guy: A very special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas
Peter accidentally gives all the family’s presents to charity.
The family goes to the mall to do their shopping all over again and Peter gets into a fight with an old woman over a present. She throws fish food at him and he is attacked by fish.
Brian forgets to turn off the stove and a fire starts. The main losses: Peter’s couch and the television.
Lois feels that she’s not getting enough gratitude for all her efforts to make the holiday a good one and she goes crazy: she pushes James Stewart off a bridge and punches a snowman. Finally she is put down by a tranquilizer dart.
The Parents and Children Christmas
7. Friends:The One with the Holiday Armadillo
During the entire episode, Ross wants to explain Hanukah to his kid, but his kid just wants Santa. So Ross decides to buy a Santa costume but he’s too late and all the costumes have been bought. The only costume left is of an Armadillo. Ross buys it. His son asks who he is and he replies that he is Santa’s delegate in all the southern states and Mexico. Ross tries to take advantage of his son’s enthusiasm for the Armadillo custom to tell him about Hanukah, but Chandler arrives in a Santa custom and draws all the attention. When Ross finally gets his son’s attention again and starts to tell him about Hanukah, Joey arrives dressed as Superman…
The Mess and Confusion Christmas
6. Homicide: Life on the Street: All Through the House
Munch hates Christmas: he hates it because you’re supposed to be happy and if you’re not happy you think there’s something wrong with you. Stan and Munch are investigating the murder of a man in a Santa costume. Munch’s first guess: rebellious elves. Munch needs to tell the victim’s son that his father is dead but he can’t gather the courage for it. Just before Munch is about to tell the kid about his father’s death, the father gets home. Mistaken identities with a happy ending.
The Intercultural Relations Christmas
5. The Sopranos: Kaisha
A.J starts working in construction. In the construction site he meets Blanca and falls in love. They start dating.
While A.J is at Blanca’s place, a bunch of juvenile delinquents are making some noise below the building and disturb Blanca. A.J goes down. Is he going to beat them up? Not exactly. He gives them a new bike so that they will go away.
At Christmas dinner, Carmella and Tony see Blanca and A.J together for the first time. Carmella says to Tony “She’s ten years older than him and Puerto Rican?” Tony replies “At least she’s Catholic.”
The Dishonest Christmas
4. The Simpsons: Miracle on Evergreen Terrace
Bart wakes up early in order to be the first to open the Christmas gifts. A new toy causes a fire to break out and the presents along with the Christmas tree are burned.
Bart buries the evidence in the snow and lies to his family that a burglar took away the gifts and the tree.
The story gets to the news and the people of Springfield throw the Simpsons a party, in which they gather funds for a new tree and gifts. The Simpsons get fifteen thousand dollars, which Homer uses to buy a new car. Shortly after, the car bizarrely explodes in the snow. Bart confesses in the news the true story behind the loss of the tree and gifts. The Simpsons are now outcasts in Springfield because of the lie and the money they got undeservingly.
The people of Springfield empty the Simpsons’ house to recover their money. At the end of the episode the house is entirely empty. Only a washcloth is left and Homer, Marge and the kids are fighting over it.
The Alcohol Abuse Christmas
3. The Office (U.S): Christmas Party
Everybody is playing a game of gift-swapping which Dwight defines as “Machiavelli meets Christmas.”
The employees are mad at Michael after they find out he got a $3000 bonus while they got nothing. Michael wants to make it up to them so he buys 15 bottles of vodka, although he’s not sure it’s enough to get 20 people drunk…
Kelly kisses Dwight after having a bit too much to drink. Angela goes out and breaks some glass bottles. The Christmas party ends with Meredith (who also had a shot or two of vodka too many) exposing her breasts to Michael and with the rest of the employees throwing snowballs at each other.
The Workplace Romance Christmas
2. The Office (U.K): Christmas Special: Part 2
David’s blind date Carol arrives to the Christmas party. She actually looks good and they seem to be getting along pretty well.
Dawn is at the party with her fiancé Lee and he’s in a hurry to leave so she says goodbye to Tim and leaves the party with Lee. Tim knows she’s going back to the U.S the morning after and he’s not happy about it. Will the series end with Tim’s love unfulfilled?
In the car Dawn opens the Christmas present Tim got her (oil paints and the sentence “Never Give Up” on a piece of paper with Tim’s portrait) and she seems emotional about it. David and Carol end their night with a kiss and David seems happy.
Dawn comes back to the party and finally kisses Tim. They go outside holding hands.
The Nothing Goes Right Christmas
1. Seinfeld: The Strike
Jerry is at a Hanukah party and gets the number of a woman he thinks is beautiful. When he meets her the following day he finds out she is two-faced: attractive one day and hideous the next. George’s father invented a new holiday called Festivus with some original traditions, for example: instead of a tree there is an aluminum pole. Kramer reluctantly has to finish his twelve year strike from the bagels branch and go back to work when his demands are finally accepted: twelve years ago he demanded $5.35 an hour and now it’s the minimum wage. George invented a fake charity called “The Human Fund.” His scheme is uncovered by his boss and his excuse is that it’s because he’s celebrating Festivus and not Christmas.
George’s boss doesn’t really believe him so George reluctantly invites him to a Festivus dinner at his parents’ house. George hates every minute of the Festivus dinner but Frank tells him that Festivus isn’t over until George pins him to the ground in a wrestling match.
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December 4th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Cool list. Thanks for including links to watch all the episodes you wrote about. I look forward to the yearly Christmas episodes too!
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