So the Obamas have selected top decorator Michael Smith to update the White House. Redecorating a house is not to be taken lightly. Most people underestimate this adventure. Newlyweds, couples about to begin something new - somehow always decide to celebrate by redecorating. They forget that you may know how renovation starts but never how it will end!

Barack and Michelle: if you want your marriage to last, don’t worry about the stress of Barack’s new job, Iran’s nuclear aspirations or the deep recession. Just make sure you survive the renovations. Here are 10 movies and TV shows with crucial tips to keep in mind:

10. The Money Pit

Tom Hanks and his love Shelly Long thought, why not take the relationship forward by buying a great suburban New York house for a bargain price? They should have known better. New York bargain price is maybe buying the Plaza for $500 million instead of $550 million, but not a suburban house for almost nothing. They thought that as successful professionals, fixing a house is nothing. Wrong! Anything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. They found themselves battling the house and each other, on the verge of losing their sanity. The house easily trumped construction workers who stopped by to help.

Tip for the Obamas: As a successful professional couple making the opposite mistake – paying way high (on many levels) for a four-year rental – just hope that the White House, at its advanced age, will not turn out to be such a money pit. And kudos for bringing in a renovation professional!

9. Pacific Heights

Just like the Obamas, Melanie Griffith and Matthew Modine are a young couple that worked hard for the chance to renovate their dream house. But once again, the dream turns into a nightmare. This time, for a different reason: they rent out one of the rooms - to the tenant from hell, as it turns out, who slowly and manipulatively takes over the house, driving the couple mad - and apart.

Tip for the Obamas: So yes, this time renovations were not the real problem, but the message is very clear: think again before you invite Michelle’s mom to live with you. And do not, under any circumstances, let Hillary rent any of the rooms!

8. Independence Day

No, I don’t really think aliens are a threat Obama will need to handle. But this one is here to remind the couple that one day a deadly beam (or a Middle Eastern rocket off its course…) might erase your dream house in a minute - and all those antiques Michael Smith likes to use will be blown to pieces.

Tip for the Obamas: Considering you already paid millions just to get into the White House, think again if you really want to hire a prestigious and probably high-priced decorator for the job.

7. Are We Done Yet

This could be called the African-American Money Pit. This time around, it’s a family with two kids who hire professionals – just like the Obamas. But director Steve Carr and actor Ice Cube didn’t learn anything from The Money Pit. First, they cast another actress whose last name is Long. Second, they went for a fixer-upper in the suburbs. Here, the house and the constructor join forces to drive the man of the family insane - and to bankruptcy. To top it all off, the constructor gets too close to the wife and kids.

Tip for the Obamas: Considering that being the US President wears you down, distances you from your family, and in general marks the peak after which you can only go downhill, maybe it’s not such a great idea to bring in a hot superstar designer to spend a lot of time with your family.

6. The War of the Roses

There is no real need to wait for aliens or missiles to tear down your dream house. You can do it with your own bare hands. Yes, it sounds great to be President of the US and all. And the family is probably enthusiastic about living in the White House instead of waiting hours in hot and humid DC for a brief tour. But there is also a less glamorous scenario. The stress of the new job, the kids nagging their mom because they see their dad even less, the mother-in-law driving everyone crazy (I said not to invite her…), the wife starting to lose patience, everybody on edge - and then someone will angrily smash one of Smith’s precious antiques, and the next thing you know, the White House turns into a battle zone.

Ask Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner – a long-married, successful couple. They had a great house, great art, great cars and great kids. Then she started introspecting, he said he hated the way she decorated the house, one thing led to another, and the house… Yep, ruined once again.

Tip for the Obamas: Breakable objects will not make you happy.

5. Beverly Hills Cop II

Michael Smith – other than John Smith, this might be the most popular fake name out there. Googling it gives more than 1,700,000 results. So this got me thinking: how well did the Obamas really choose their decorator? Did they check references? Shouldn’t decorators have less common names, not to mention foreign or exotic, like - Philippe Starck, Nina Campbell, Rachel Ashwell or Mauro Lipparini?

Tip for the Obamas: Just hope not to find out one day that this allegedly distinguished decorator has taken over the house and is relaxing in the pool (how come nobody built a pool there all these years?) - just like Eddie Murphy took over a Beverly Hills villa under renovation by impersonating a building inspector.

4. Home Improvement

Per Smith’s references, I hope the quality of his work is better than Tim Allen’s. Also, I hope Smith doesn’t come with his own Tool Girl, especially a well-equipped one like Allen’s. It could be a bit of a distraction for all those policy makers. In case he does, at least the Obamas don’t have any male teenagers at home. Being a Michael Smith, perhaps he should also be aided by a mysterious adviser like Allen’s neighbor. Preferably Philippe Starck.

Tip for the Obamas: “More Power” is not always the best solution, especially now that a Democratic President is once again in charge.

3. Lethal Weapon 2

Barack Obama is, unfortunately, the most threatened President-elect in history. So better be careful that renovation will not turn out to be a real life threat! Imagine someone tries to infiltrate the White House (obviously Smith will not do the work himself, so with all those construction workers running around, it’s not so far-fetched). The attacker wouldn’t need to bring any weapon, as nail guns will be spread around like… well, nails. Now, when Smith gets behind schedule, like any renovator, Obama will get pissed off, like any client. And if the Secret Service isn’t glued to Obama’s every step, and the attack occurs when Obama is arguing with Smith about the unfinished sauna for example - then it could get deadly.

Tip for the Obamas: Grab the nail gun first! If Barack wants practice, he can go to brother Glover (Sergeant Murtaugh), who’s experienced with both construction workers and nail guns.

2. & 1. This Old House and Me, My House and I

To conclude, I recommend that Michelle watch two reality TV shows and come prepared to the first meeting with Michael Smith, so he doesn’t BS her with too many expensive materials and unnecessary additions. After all, this is a recession, and like any of us the Obamas need to keep their renovation budget tight.

Tip for the Obamas: Watch the first 28 seasons of the Emmy Award Winner This Old House, in which master carpenters, plumbing experts and other top professionals give humorous (80s style…) advice on just about anything to do with renovation. Or you can try the more up-to-date, lesser-known Canadian show Me, My House and I, in which comedienne Brigitte Gall attempts to renovate her 100-year-old-house and tackles just about any catastrophe imaginable.

And one last word for Barack: since you will probably choose to deal with Iran, the recession, and other minor issues - and not watch the 28 fascinating seasons of This Old House - then please remember the lesson of The Roses, and don’t complain about the curtains when it’s all done!

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