Who will it be? The shy Messi or the arrogant Cristiano Ronaldo? The veteran Giggs or the young Iniesta? The rookie coach Guardiola or Fergie, the Scotsman who’s already seen it all? Who will lift the trophy on May 27th? Barcelona, who had their greatest football season ever, or Man Utd for the second year in a row? To celebrate the promising Champions League final between FCBarcelona and Manchester United, here are 10 things that must happen to make this game great – and 10 movies that exemplify this. (Note: Since I’m not American, I might be using football in this post to refer to soccer. With all due respect to football. And soccer.)

10. The players must perform spectacular and unexpected moves.

Shaolin Soccer (2001)

Hong Kong satirist Stephen Chow wrote, directed, and starred in this hilarious spoof of sports and kung fu movie cliches. Chow plays “Mighty Steel Leg” Sing, who can kick soda cans through walls. He’s a natural football star in the eyes of crippled coach Fung (Patrick Se Yin), who is looking to challenge his arch rival Hung, the captain of the aptly named Evil Team. After recruiting Sing and his goofy brothers, who all have names like Steel Head, Hook Kick Leg, and Weight Vest (with qualities to match), Hung’s team soon rises through the ranks via their supernatural kung fu football skills.

9. The fans must behave themselves and not shame their club and country.

Green Street Hooligans (2005)

Matt Buckner (Elijah Wood) travels to London after getting kicked out of Harvard. Ostensibly there to visit his sister, Matt instead forms an unlikely bond with her husband’s brother, Pete Dunham (Charlie Hunnam), who takes him to a football match to see his team, West Ham. At the game, the inevitable happens, and Matt’s initial trepidation at the violence swelling around him soon turns into a pulse-racing, visceral thrill. With his new taste for the hooligan life, Matt joins Pete’s “firm,” the Green Street Elite.

8. Your girlfriend (or boyfriend) must not give you a hard time for watching the game.

Fever Pitch (1997)

When Paul (Colin Firth), a middle-aged English teacher in Britain who nurses an obsession for the Arsenal football team, meets Sarah, a seemingly uptight young woman and single-minded professional, he is forced to drastically re-evaluate his life. Sarah loathes the sport, while Paul’s entire life is based on it - the only place in his life that allows him to feel true joy and pain, as well as a British national identity. Soon, Sarah is pregnant, and although she’s growing to enjoy football, she worries that Paul cares more for the sport than for the relationship and his impending fatherhood.

7. The players must use their heads and think: that’s how brilliant plays are created.

They don’t have to be Nietzsche or Plato, but a clever pass can break any defense. Here is a classic Monty Python bit: The philosophers’ football match.

6. There must be at least one goal (preferably 8).

Goal! (2005)

Santiago Munez (Kuno Becker) is an illegal Mexican immigrant living in Los Angeles when a former British professional, Glen Foy, spots him playing in a football game - and promises him a tryout for Newcastle United. So Santiago travels to England, and finds himself in a world where “football” is king, and “footballers” are gods. His path to football stardom is hard and paved with pitfalls. However, with the guidance of Glen, the love of a plucky and beautiful nurse (Anna Friel), and the unexpected support by Newcastle United’s playboy star Gavin Harris (Alessandro Nivola), Santiago finally finds himself in a position to score a pivotal goal and live his dream.

5. The players must play a fair game.

Mean Machine (2001)

This is a remake of The Longest Yard, Robert Aldrich’s 1974 Burt Reynolds prison tale about inmates who organize themselves into an (American) football team and compete against the guards. British director Barry Skolnick pulls together a ruthlessly funny cast and changes the resident sport to football (soccer). The leader of the prisoners (Vinnie Jones) is a former star who is asked by the warden to coach a team of prison guards. Instead, he offers to put together a team of inmates, who will be able to scrimmage with the guards’ team.

4. There must be a lot of kicking (towards the goal and not at each others’ legs), and screaming (because the game is very exciting).

Kicking and Screaming (2005)

Funny man Will Ferrell’s humorous man-child antics meet actual kids in this football comedy. As vitamin salesman Phil Weston, Farrell’s a sensitive man easily capable of both crying and sewing. Unfortunately, none of these qualities endear him to his tough-as-nails father, Buck (Robert Duvall), who goes so far as to trade Phil’s 10-year-old son - his own grandson - from the youth team he coaches to the last-place team, the Tigers. When the Tigers’ coach leaves, putting the season on the line, an inexperienced Phil steps in to helm his son’s new team. With help from Buck’s neighbor and rival, real-life football coach Mike Ditka - hilariously playing himself - the Tigers turn their season around.

3. The good guys must win.

Victory (1981)

A group of POWs at a German prison camp are set to compete against Nazi Germany’s best football team in this World War II drama set in 1943 occupied Europe. The Nazi offers don’t realize that the POWs plan to use the upcoming big game as a means of escaping… The Allied team includes John Colby, a British officer who played football before the war, and Robert Hatch, an American soldier who cares far more about gaining his freedom than the game itself. When the POWs realize they have a good shot at beating the Nazi team in front of a huge crowd, they must decide what’s more important: finishing the match or getting out alive.

2. The game must be as unforgettable as the world cup final of sixty six.

Sixty Six (2006)

Bernie Rubens is a nerdy 12-year-old preparing for his Bar Mitzvah, which he wants to be a huge, ornate affair. However, his parents, Manny (Eddie Marsan) and Esther (Helena Bonham Carter), have accidentally scheduled it for the day of the 1966 World Cup final, so if England makes it, no one is expected to show for Bernie’s big day. As England surprisingly starts playing better, Bernie begins rooting for his home team to lose.

1. One player must rise above the rest to give the performance of a lifetime.

Didier (1997)

Who can forget Ronaldo’s (not Cristiano, but the one and only Brazilian, Ronaldo Luis Nazario De Lima) hat-trick at Old Trafford, Zidan’s performance at the world cup final of 1998, or Maradona’s “hand of god” game against England in 1986? It’s always great to see one player rise above the rest. In the silly French comedy Didier, a dog turns into a man, and displays amazing football skills:

As the writer I am supposed to remain objective. So good luck to both teams, and may the best one win…

And remember: football is also about the coach (Mike Bassett: England Manager), is not just for men, and mostly is… magic! (There’s only one Jimmy Grimble).

P.S. Special thanks to Roi (it was his idea to write something for the C.L), Sonino (if he wasn’t so inflexible he would have played for Liverpool today), and Ilya (a wonderful defender).

Want even more football / soccer? Search on Jinni for:
Soccer * Championship * Contests and Competitions * Sport * Ambition * Sport Team * Rivalry * Coach * Athlete’s Life * Athlete and Trainer * (and any combination)

Technorati Tags: champions league, world cup, soccer, football, movie, film

Popularity: 3% [?]

When Terminator was playing in theaters, I was 11 - and curious the way 11-year-olds can be. That is, master at asking “Why?” If I’d known curiosity isn’t only dangerous for cats, maybe I could have avoided the life-changing experience that going to see Terminator turned out to be.

On the way out of the movie, I asked my father: “If Kyle is actually John’s father, and Kyle got to meet Sarah only because John sent him to earth to save him… then why does John exist in the future?”

Paradox!

Worse, I then learned for the first time that my father didn’t know everything. He couldn’t explain the paradox! My life changed forever, and that was coming-of-age for me. Couldn’t it at least have waited until the official coming-of-age at my Bar Mitzvah? Two years of innocence down the drain.

Looking back, I can see that I was fascinated by time travel since early childhood - and I’m not even a real sci-fi geek. It’s a theme of some of my favorite movies, shows and even authors (I admit, every now and then I read).

What if…. I’m living in the wrong time, or in an alternative reality to the one I should be in? Maybe that’s why I like Back to the Future 2 and not just 1…?

To try to reach some kind of closure, here are some of the major cinematic Time Travel paradoxes with my best excuses. Skip to the end for my suggested Time Travel guidelines.

9. The Time Tunnel (1966)

For me it all began with this series.

As a kid (1980 or so), I faked sick just to stay home and watch TV - and this was one of my favorites (tied with a show about a speaking barrel with a broom as a mustache, who was friends with a twenty-something girl dressed as a little boy. Yes, it’s real).

Time Tunnel is about two scientists. Tony left alone on a time-traveling mission, and Doug went after to bring him back. They moved between different time periods without any apparent rules. And each time, their lab colleagues had to locate them from scratch.

Even as a little kid, I asked myself, Why do they travel through time if they can’t change history or the future?

I guess the creators of later movies agreed and altered the rules of time travel, although TV shows strangely held to this logic…

The Paradox: Why the problems bringing them both back? Doug got back alone, and he also got to Tony’s time. Plus the lab guys brought others back to the present. Millions of lesser issues add to the confusion…

My Excuse: They didn’t have any trouble coming back. It was all a conspiracy to teach me history (and futurology) even when I was home and terribly sick…

8. Quantum Leap (1989)

Twenty-three years after Time Tunnel, they still couldn’t think of something original. Yet I was hooked again. And the same nagging questions remained.

There’s a new pair of scientists, Sam and Al. Sam leaps into a time machine and starts traveling endlessly through time, without being able to return or alter history. Sounds familiar?

This time, Al doesn’t leap after him, but instead is a hologram accompanying him. He can only help morally and logically, not physically. Also, Sam inhabits the body and identity of a character from the past. He has to help that character get through a crisis or achieve something, and only then can he leap on to help another character. They’re aided on their mission by Ziggy the supercomputer.

Here’s a clip.

The Paradox: So few logical issues were solved – luckily some humor was involved. True, Al seems like a stoned buddy trying to help a friend in distress, but why can’t a supercomputer get Sam back?

My Excuse: I think Al wasn’t the only one stoned during the show. Holograms? A chief programmer called Gushy? A supercomputer named Ziggy connected to a walkie talkie with colorful blinking lights and funny beeps that doesn’t work half the time?

People, no wonder you didn’t make it to season 6! Time paradox is not to be handled so lightly.

7. Back to the Future Trilogy (1985, 1989, 1990)

Who hasn’t fantasized about going back in time with a list of all sports events’ results and betting on them (winning lottery numbers would also do)…?

Back to the Future is, I think, the most beloved and relatively logical attempt at time travel and alternative realities. (And we have, as Monte Williams points out in PopMatters, nearly arrived at the “impossibly distant future year that Marty McFly visited in Back to the Future II” it depicted.)  Though it has its share of inconsistencies. At least here, the theory is that messing with the past can alter the present or future - backed with some severe scientific justifications and warnings:

The Paradox: There are many. But the movie is so much fun - and you can see that nobody involved took themselves, or the plot, too seriously. So who cares?

But if you insist, than let’s start by saying that driving 88MPH doesn’t get you to travel through time. I checked, although not with a deLorian (it does, however, improve your chances of visiting the nearest hospital or police station).

Then, there is no real explanation for how the future events that trigger the second film relate to the events in the first film.

And besides, how did Doc managed to build a time-traveling train back at the 19th century?

My Excuse: Anyway, most of events are logical, altering events have their (amusing) effects, and Clint Eastwood never looked more intimidating….

6. 12 Monkeys (1995)

Bruce Willis plays, typically, a (nearly) one-man-army. James Cole is sent from apocalyptic 2035 to still-peaceful 1990 and 1996, to prevent the catastrophe from happening…

The Paradox: For starters, what about the fact that because of James Cole’s past self, the future people know about the anarchistic group of the twelve monkeys? How did they know about that in the future before sending him?

Spoiler Alert: The finale really left me gaping. The young James watches his older self get killed. What?? At first it all seems to make sense. The theory is that events are inevitable, and are looped again and again. But then, if James keeps growing up with this memory, getting sent to the past and killed, then the first time the loop starts from the future part, or else little James needs to grow up at least once without remembering that scenario. It’s like the chicken and the egg. Maybe the chicken was also sent back in time…

My Excuse: The whole movie is actually a delusion in the mind of Terry Gilliam; they just cut the last scene where he wakes up. Being British, a Monty Python veteran, and inhaler of LSD instead of O2 for many years (if not until today, see Tideland), no one other than himself need or can understand these delusions. But hey, at least we got to see Willis and Brad Pitt in one of their last great acts, before their spouses messed their careers.

5. Butterfly Effect (2004)

Did you notice that no matter how ludicrous the plot, when it comes to time travel and alternative realities, viewers may embrace almost any scenario?

Here, Ashton Kutcher decided to make about 10 movies at once. Or in other words, his character suffers from disastrous blackouts, and when he reads his journal he can jump into the past, each time doing things differently and causing the reality of his life to change again and again (and his limbs to drop along the way…). That is, until he identifies one formative event, and alters it to improve everyone’s lives – despite the personal sacrifice involved.

The Paradox: What the hell were they thinking when they made this film? And what does time travel or journey to alternative realities have to do with nose bleeding?

My Excuse: They were probably distracted by the $100 million they expected to make worldwide, and by the sequel… As for the bleeding, it’s nothing comparing to the side effects the next flick envisions for the reckless traveler…

Here’s a more reasonable demonstration (at least compared to the movie) of a butterfly effect:

Or even this one.

4. Timeline (2003)

Now I have a lot of admiration for the late Michael Crichton. I appreciate his books and attempts at accuracy, coherence, and logic. Timeline, however, wasn’t one of his best, to put it mildly. But he was on a roll then, with many of his books adapted to the big screen, so this one wasn’t excluded. Fiasco ensued. The movie didn’t come close to covering its over-the-top budget. Still, his simple idea does make more sense more than most of the ideas in this list.

Spoiler Alert: A professor accidentally finds himself in the past and places a distress message in a place where he knows his students are doing an archeological dig. Timing is everything: The professor needs the group to find his message by a certain time, or he dies. That is one major gamble. They find it, go back in time, and save him. Sorry about the spoiler, but it’s not a major one. And seriously, better read the book (if at all).

The Paradox: Why were the rescuers limited to a six-hour window to get back to present? One of the characters was even smart enough to comment on this in the movie:

Also – time travel damages internal organs? What does it cause, appendicitis? Indigestion??

My Excuse: Aside from the possible future organ donation issues, and the unnecessary race against time, history was altered a bit in this story - but overall stayed pretty much the same. Let’s assume that minor changes like a lady saved from hanging who marries a guy from the future (present) yet decides to stay in the past causes no butterfly effect….

3. Bill & Ted’s Double Feature (1989, 1991)

Probably inspired by Back to the Future (compare Bogus Journey to the futuristic part of BTTF 2), and influencing in turn all future time travel adventures (well, maybe not), Bill & Ted brought a fresh perspective. Fresh as in silly and hilarious.

In order to pass their history exam and so keep the future utopian society unharmed, two dimwit slackers go back in a fancy time machine (a phone booth) and return with famous historical characters like Napoleon, Billy the Kid, Abraham Lincoln, and Socrates, to participate in their class presentation. Great idea, right?

The Paradox: In both films, disorder rules. Characters meet themselves in different times, past figures appear in the present (some even stay, like the buddies’ girlfriends)… and not only does all this not ruin anything, it keeps the future intact.

My Excuse: Freezing your brain before watching the movie might help. Better yet, if you can get your hands on a time machine (DeLorian, Phone Booth, whatever), leap to the late 80s or early 90s and watch the film then, it’ll be less embarrassing. Here’s why:

2. Lost – Season 5, Episode 11 – Whatever Happened, Happened (2009)

I’m a Lost addict, though I recognize it should have ended before the third season. But it didn’t, and so we got the mother of all time-travel paradoxes.

Before this season, I guess the producers were pressed to explain moving islands (!) And they clearly favor the most bizarre, ludicrous, and totally unbelievable plot twist possible… So in a bold not to mention arrogant move, they gave us Flashdance – the Lost version.

The Paradox: In the first episodes of the season, white flashes signifying time shifts happened so often, it’s amazing the writers could follow it. Along with the “water-girl,” they probably hired a time-travel-girl to keep a log. So now we have a bunch of new plot holes to deal with. Some people move through time, some don’t. Some disappear when time shifts, others stay in place while their surrounding changes. Some stay the same age, some don’t. Ben gets shot by Said, but in the former present he doesn’t remember this when he meets Said. Miles claims no changes can be made to the events, while in the new present, the “others” camp is abandoned, and a picture with Sawyer and Hurley from the 70s exists.

To preempt criticism, the writers made fun of themselves, in what I must say is a hilarious tribute to one of the modern classics of time paradox, Back to the Future.

My Excuse: I’m with Hurley. But hey, no mortal can understand, let alone explain, Lost. Maybe Deep Blue… Trusting the time-travel-girl won’t help: see what happens when the supernaturalist character, Miles, tries to explain the paradox:

By the way, Lost’s 13th episode (Miles’s story) so far proves that seeing yourself in a different time doesn’t cause the world to explode (just maybe airplanes to crash…).

1. Terminator Franchise (1984, 1991, 2003, 2009):

Back to where we started…

A lot can be said about paradoxes in this series. Other than the questions I had at age 11, there is the issue of the Terminator’s arm from the end of the first movie. According to the second movie, this is what jumpstarted Skynet, which eventually resulted in doomsday. But wasn’t the Terminator sent only after doomsday happened?

The news about Terminator 4 is that there will be no more Terminators coming from the future to stop John Connor. That was the main shtick of the series, and indeed I think this lemon has no more juice in it. Instead, the future the movie shows is not the future that we expected. At least this is what the first teaser trailer promised us:

Looks intriguing. I hope this dimension will make Terminator 4 more than just another well-made apocalyptic action flick, even minus the director’s original “jet-black,” bleak and controversial ending. What’s safe to assume is that more paradoxical plot twists will be added to the series. And you know what, bring them on!

To sum up, I suggest the following Guidelines for Time Travel scenarios:

1. No traveling for children under 18 without an adult companion.
2. No traveling to events during one’s lifetime.
3. No changes to past events, especially major historical ones (including assassinations and nuclear holocausts) and no bringing of past characters to present.
4. No gambling.
5. No body snatching.
6. No stupid gadgets to communicate with the present. Just time travel adjusted GSM technology. And make sure communication with the present works at all times.
7. No weapons allowed.
8. Use GPS.
9. Use traveling devices that are waste-fueled only, unused, and have no expiration date.
10. Wear a helmet and take a sweater, umbrella and pills against internal organ aches, or whatever…

11. You can mess up the future as much as you like, it didn’t happen yet…

And here’s a treat for dessert:

Technorati Tags: movie, film, Terminator, sci-fi, time travel

Popularity: 8% [?]

Today is International Day Against Homophobia. We at Jinni want to take the chance to promote acceptance and diversity in cinema.

We believe you shouldn’t hate someone based on race, religion or sexual preference. If you hate someone, do it for the right reasons: Because he has a tattoo, thinks wearing a leather jacket is cool, or nurtures his hair too much…

Here is a roundup of 10 movies about gay identity, homophobia and gay rights, showcasing the variety of ways to handle these topics. They’re perfect picks for today - or any day, as there’s something on this list to fit most moods and tastes.

Before we begin, here’s the couch potato’s guide to spotting a closet homophobe: 1. “I’m not gay - not that there’s anything wrong with that.” (Seinfeld said this quite a lot in the show.) 2. “Some of my best friends are gay…” (Several movie titles are variations on this quote.) 3. “Rupert Everett is gay, and he’s a nice guy.”

10. Flawless (1999)

Walt Koontz (Robert De Niro) is a bitter, homophobic security guard who suffers a stroke that leaves him partially paralyzed. Depressed and suicidal over his slurred speech and awkward limp, he eventually breaks down and asks his neighbor for singing lessons. Unglamorous drag artist named Rusty (Philip Seymour Hoffman) is as uncomfortable and disgusted by Koontz’s bitter demeanor as Koontz is with Rusty’s lifestyle…

9. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007)

A movie with Adam Sandler and Kevin James that has a message? Yes! Widower Larry (Kevin James) asks Chuck (Adam Sandler) to act as his domestic partner so that his children will be provided for if tragedy strikes. But these two buddies soon find themselves the subject of an investigation by the city. Enter Alex McDonough (Jessica Biel), their highly attractive attorney who leaves Chuck desperately wishing he wasn’t pretending to be gay.

Initially, Chuck and Larry are as guilty of stereotyping as anyone. In fact, pretty much any and every gay joke turns up in this film. But their attitudes change when the shoe is on the other foot and they find themselves and their new gay friends the subject of discrimination, mocking and name-calling.

8. Milk (2008)

Shot on location in San Francisco, this tragic biopic from director Gus Van Sant explores the life of Harvey Milk. Oscar winner Sean Penn stars as the gay activist who broke barriers by becoming the first openly gay man to win an election for public office in America. This isn’t the first movie made about Harvey Milk; in1984 The Times of Harvey Milk won an Oscar for best documentary.

7. The Sopranos (1999)

The Sopranos are always a good example of how not to behave. In season five, Vito Spatafore is revealed to be gay. In the world of “The Sopranos,” it was a sure bet that he wouldn’t last much longer - and he didn’t. Torciano and Gamiello, two of Phil Leotardo’s soldiers, duct-taped Vito’s mouth shut and beat him to death while Phil Leotardo watched. All this because he brought shame to the family’s name (he was married to Phil’s sister). Speaking of homophobia…

6. RocknRolla (2008)

Imagine that one day you discover that your best friend is gay - and he has a crush on you (you are not gay). Imagine that on the same day, you also discover that your best friend is going to prison for a very long time. His last wish before going behind bars is that you give him a “good time” on his last night as a free man. This is the situation One Two (Gerard Butler) finds himself in…

5. Yossi and Jagger (2002)

The Israelis did it first… You thought a movie about two gay cowboys is daring? Yossi and Jagger is about two gay Israeli combat soldiers. An Israeli military outpost serves as the staging ground for this theatrical, tragic love story between Yossi (Ohad Knoller) and Jagger (Yehuda Levi), young soldiers in the Israeli army. Yossi, the stolid captain of the outpost, and Jagger, nicknamed after the Rolling Stones front man, are lovers, but they struggle to hide their relationship from the rest of the troop. Private excursions through snowy trails serve to camouflage their trysts, but Jagger becomes dissatisfied with their secrecy…

4. Six Feet Under (2001)

This HBO television series about the dysfunctional Los Angeles-based family that operates the Fisher and Sons Funeral Home was definitely groundbreaking in its representation of a gay relationship between a black policeman and a white funeral home manager. Unlike the stereotypically flamboyant gay man, these were two “regular” guys who happen to be gay.

3. Will and Grace (1998)

Will and Grace made a controversial splash when it first aired in 1998 with the presence of openly gay characters – then relatively foreign to prime-time family-oriented programming. The show went on to become an overwhelming success, due to the chemistry between Grace (Debra Messing) and Will (Eric McCormack), as well as its unique brand of physical, almost slapstick comedy blended with sly, sarcastic sociopolitical commentary. The series follows the exploits of two unusually close best friends. Grace is a goofy, sexy interior designer and Will is a suave, elegant gay man. The two have a relationship that borders on co-dependence, resembling a marriage without sex.

2. Brokeback Mountain (2005)

With the amazing critical and box office success (and numerous spoofs) this movie got, it can be considered as the one that put homosexual themed screen stories in the heart of the mainstream.

It’s the tragic and moving story of two cowboys who unexpectedly fall in love while working together one summer in 1963. Seeing each other a few times a year at best, they spend the rest of their time halfheartedly living up to society’s expectations by marrying and having kids. When the lovers do meet, there is a sense of love so palpable and frustrating it often manifests itself in physical violence. Jake Gyllenhaal shines as the film’s hopeful light, and Heath Ledger gives a powerful performance as the emotionally blocked Ennis.

1. Bruno (2009)

The alternate name says everything there is to know about the movie: Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt.

A few more words anyway. After how far gay characters and themes have come in cinema and television, and after Brokeback’s records, but before the first American homosexual President (who might finally achieve warmer relations with Ahmadinejad and Putin…), it is time for the next big step. Get ready for Sacha Baron Cohen’s heroic (and initially NC-17 rated) mission, to expose all you homophobes out there, and send you into the closet!

Search on Jinni for -
Homosexual * Gays and Lesbians * Prejudice * Hatred * Homophobia * Groundbreaking * Society * Love and Romance * Couple Relations * Clever * Gag * Sentimental * Touching * Discrimination

Technorati Tags: movie, film, bruno, milk

Popularity: 5% [?]

A new cons-and-scams flick is hitting the big screens – The Brothers Bloom. It’s a perfect opportunity to take a closer look at this theme.

What is there to look at? you say. A con is a con is a con. Wrong, my friends. There’s a big, diverse world of cons and scams out there. And as this new movie tries to handle the familiar subject in a unique style, here are some of my favorite, yet less obvious and well-known, cons and scams.

10. The Brothers Bloom (2008) - The eccentric brothers’ con

Two eccentric brothers prepare for their last big job. Yes, that one last job that will fix them up good and allow Bloom, the reluctant one, to fulfill his wish of going straight. But the mark turns out to be a young millionairess, no less eccentric than the brothers. Blooms falls for her - and that, of course, causes everything to go wrong.

So, is it a spoof? A farce? A comic-con? Or an exercise in the art of mix-everything-in-and-see-what-comes-out con?

The cast is definitely promising. It’s another genre mash-up (as Slant put it) for Rian Johnson, director of Brick (2005), on a bigger budget. But as far as the trailer goes, things look risky. It seems like a mix of Bandits, Hudson Hawk and any other take-your-pick typical con flick. The long festival run together with the delay of the theatrical release don’t look good either. But as a cons-and-scams fan, I’m still hoping…

9. Pacific Heights (1990) – The real estate scam

Long before the mortgage crisis, when yuppie wasn’t a derogatory term and one could purchase real estate with practically no money, people still thought of creative alternative ways to own real estate…. with no money.

A young couple buys a beautiful old house in Pacific Heights, San Francisco. They’ve sunk all their physical and financial resources into it, and so to cover the expenses, they rent out the lower apartment. Things go awry when the rent from the seemingly respectable tenant is overdue. Soon our couple discovers they’ve rented to a devious tenant who manipulates all of law’s breaches and gray areas to drive them mad – and take over their house.

8. Shattered Glass (2004) – The journalism scam

As this is a true story, there’s no spoiler in telling you how it ends. Maybe that’s one of the reasons it flopped at the box office. Still, it’s fascinating to see this scam unfolds to the climactic revelation.

Stephan Glass, a young, ambitious journalist just out of college, joins the weekly magazine The New Republic and quickly publishes some fascinating stories that become the talk of the industry. Some of these great pieces were partially fabricated… but nobody knows, and Glass is on a fast track to success. The temptation to keep on fabricating is irresistible - each time a little more baldly, to the point where complete stories have no basis in reality. Then Glass’s mentor, the magazine editor, is replaced, and the new editor smells a fish. From that point, it’s just a matter of time before the embarrassing exposure…

7. Capricorn One (1978) - The space scam (mixed with a conspiracy thriller)

Yes, there are even cons and scams in space. Or almost…

Three astronauts agree to play along in a scheme intended to save NASA’s budget from planned cuts. Located on a sound stage, they pretend to be in a spacecraft landing on Mars.

But as usual with cons, the plan goes awry when the real, unoccupied space vehicle crashes on arrival at the red planet. Now that the astronauts are supposedly dead, they are a liability for NASA, at risk of letting the world know about the conspiracy. The obvious solution is to eliminate the trio for real. The only person helping them escape and reveal the truth is a suspicious journalist…

The movie fits in a wave of 70s conspiracy thrillers. And so as not to discriminate, like other famous sci-fi oldie blockbusters it will get its own a remake next year…

One of the astronauts is O.J. Simpson, playing in a mild disaster compared to his own life…

6. The Closet (2001) – The workplace / gender scam

It is not always about money, you know. Sometimes you need a good scam just to change up your loserish life - as the ultimate, classic, French loser character François Pignon demonstrates.

Our 7th cinematic encounter with Monsieur Pignon is a hilarious farce about workplace intrigue, sexual identity and political correctness. Pignon (Daniel Auteuil) is the last person in his factory to find out that he is about to be fired from his job as an accountant. It will probably won’t bother anyone, as he is practically transparent to his fellow workers, his wife has dumped him, and his teenage kid is embarrassed by him. A minute before jumping from his terrace, he’s stopped by a wise old neighbor, and comes up with a clever yet simple scheme: Pignon will spread a rumor that he is gay, and the management will not fire him, in order not to be liable for sexual discrimination. To our great enjoyment, this little scam gets out of control, and affects every aspect of Pignon’s life. Contributing to the mayhem are the reluctant attempts of a fellow worker (Gerard Depardieu) to befriend Pignon, as he’s afraid he will lose his job because of his apparent homophobia.

5. Autumn Spring (2001) – Aging con artists

This is a heartwarming yet unsentimental look at how different people face their inevitable demise, and the cast of seasoned seniors pulls it off with great style and humanity. In other words: sometimes you con just for fun.

This little pearl from Czechoslovakia is the story of Fanda and Eda, two irresponsible, elderly buddies, who can pull off a prank or two even in their eighties: impersonating wealthy land buyers, government officials, and so on. Fanda’s uptight wife, on the other hand, has been preparing for their death practically since she was born. So when she finds out that instead of using her savings for final arrangements - like moving to a home and preparing their funeral - Fanda used them to compensate an angry mark, she’s furious. And she decides to finally do something about it. And so those seemingly harmless scams that kept Fanda’s spirit young become a key factor in his life expectancy…

4. Seducing Dr. Lewis (2003) – The whole-village con

Sometimes you need the whole village to play along, to make a better life for everyone.

A small, down-on-its-luck fishing village on a small, unattractive Canadian island is about to have its luck change. After a long period of general unemployment, a company proposes building a factory on the island. There is one catch though: a full-time doctor must live in the village. Enter (reluctantly) the mild-mannered Doctor Lewis, an urbane young man from Montreal, who is forced to spend a month’s detention on the Island, after an incident with the former village mayor, now a traffic cop on the mainland. The townspeople will not let such an opportunity slip out of their hands, and so begins uninhibited plotting and scheming to convince the doctor to stay for good…

3. The Riches (2007) – Living the scam

This original series explores what it means to live a scam. A family of con artists, or travelers in the series terminology, steal money from their clan and hit the road. During their escape, they get into a car accident with an upscale married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Rich, who die on the spot. It’s the perfect start-over opportunity: live as the Riches in their new mansion in a gated Louisiana community. They only need to adjust to a lifestyle they’ve never had, to false identities, to regular jobs and to new friends, while keeping their scam intact from local suspicions and vengeful fellow clan members.

Despite the fresh original premise, good reviews, great chemistry between the two leads – Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver – and a hardcore fan base, the show was canceled after a short second season. Still, look at the bright side: the story won’t be stretched endlessly for no good reason (Lost, Prison Break…), and you can continue your life’s travels after a short addiction period.

2. Yonkers Joe (2008) – The good old Vegas gambling con

The Brothers Bloom is released on the day Las Vegas was founded. Vegas and cons / scams are almost synonymous - so here’s an opportunity for a tribute. It’s tempting to write a thesis on Ocean’s 11 and 13… but more interesting to focus on an unfairly overlooked indie film from last year, Yonkers Joe.

This emotional, introspective scam deals with Joe (Chazz Palminteri) and Janice (Chrisitine Lhati), a middle-aged married couple and long-time gambling con duo. They want out of it, partly because of their adolescent son – Joe feels his son’s health situation is a punishment for his way of life. But now that the son is grown up, he doesn’t fit anymore in the institution that cared for him and Joe needs to find an alternative. And that means money. Soon Joe resorts to the only way he knows how to make money – gambling scams. Reluctantly his wife joins in, for one last scam that will hopefully settle the family for good. And for big scores, you need a big target - viva Las Vegas, Yonkers Joe is coming!

1. Color Me Kubrick (2005) – A con from the movies

Let’s finish with a tribute to cinema itself. Ever wanted to know what it’s like to be a movie celebrity? So did Alan Conway, an ordinary Englishman, who decided back in the 90s to pose as the famous director. Conway didn’t let minor issues - like having no resemblance to Kubrick and knowing almost nothing about his work - get in the way. Amazingly, it worked, proving how blind people can get when close to a celebrity. Conway uses his fake reputation for a variety of petty scams, gaining free drinks, money and sex from a variety of victims. He even boldly addresses a New York Times journalist, who wrote a negative piece about the real Kubrick. Eventually, Conway is sent to a mental institution after the same journalist publically exposes him - only to con his way out of that one too, and live comfortably the rest of his life.

This witty comedy may not provide deep insight into Conway’s character, but it’s well worth watching, thanks to a tour de force performance by John Malkovich in the lead role.

Want more? Search Jinni for –
Cons and scams * Clever * Sibling relations * Couple relations * Mentally challenged * Health situation * Nothing goes right * Disorder * Gambling * Cards * Heist * Witty * Golden years * Prank * Deception * Scheme * One last job * Going straight * Farce * Impersonating * Small town * Petty criminal * Criminal heroes * Celebrity culture * On the run * Journalism*

Technorati Tags: brothers bloom, brick, rian johnson, movie, film, movie genome, scam movie

Popularity: 5% [?]

Summer is just around the corner, bringing sticky humidity and burning sun. Ready to escape? To help you plan your summer vacation, or for armchair touring from your air-conditioned living room, here are 10 captivating cinematic views from around the globe. You may not have heard of these foreign films, but I highly recommend them for eye-opening summer travel.

10. The Himalayas

Samsara (2001)

For those looking for a spiritual vacation, here’s an enlightening (and very sexy) trip to the Himalayas.

Tashi is a young monk awaking (in more ways than one) from three years of meditation in the mountain wilderness. Returning to his community, Tashi experiences a range of new human emotions, especially lust and temptation. Falling in love with a rich man’s beautiful daughter provokes him to abandon spirituality for materialism. Yet after being seduced by a promiscuous woman and running into financial problems, Tashi begins to contemplate his life and decisions. But destiny has already set his path…

The contrast between spirituality and materialism is a real shock. Until the moment Tashi leaves his community, we have no idea where and when his magical journey takes place. No wonder that when Tashi realizes what he gave up, he wants it back…

9. Italy

My House in Umbria (2003)

Everybody is heading to Tuscany. So be smart and travel to this lesser-known yet no less beautiful countryside.

This movie promises relaxation in old European style: Quaint villages, estates, cattle, breathtaking scenery and Italian men. Plus a touching ensemble drama. Dame Maggie Smith plays a writer who invites three fellow survivors of a train explosion to her lavish estate to recover. There’s a young girl who hasn’t spoken since losing her parents, a British army veteran, a German journalist, and Giancarlo Giannini who is constantly coming and going as he investigates the explosion. Just as the foursome emerge from the tragedy to form friendships, the cold, estranged uncle of the girl arrives to claim her, stirring emotional turmoil among them all.

8. Central Asia

Luna Papa (1999)

For a different kind of road trip, try an ethnic journey to former Soviet Union republics.

Hop aboard for a hilariously surreal adventure through Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan. The story of young, simple Tatar girl is narrated by her unborn child. Mamlakat is an aspiring actress with an eccentric father and a mad brother, who falls for the lies of an actor in a theater company passing through her village. After he promises to make her an actress because he knows Tom Cruise, Mamlakat sleeps with the guy. The next morning, he disappears but leaves behind undeniable proof of the night’s events – Mamlakat is pregnant. Determined to protect their honor, her eccentric family sets out to find the father. The journey reveals a fantastic Asian reality of wacky villages, falling-from-the-sky cattle and enormous flying bricks…

7. Japan

Kikujiro (1999)

Want to discover a totally different Japan? Not urban Tokyo, not Samurai legend, not even Yakuza land, but real contemporary rural Japan?

Then join the most unlikely couple imaginable, Kikujiro (Takeshi Kitano) – a loud, irresponsible, low-ranked Yakuza member - and Masao – a bored 9-year-old determined to find the mother he’s never known. Kikujiro doesn’t even like children, but he wouldn’t say no to good money, so he agrees to accompany Masao. Their whimsical, surprise-filled journey teaches them both a thing or two about life, human nature - and mostly, themselves.

6. Israel

Walk on Water (2004)
Is it possible to walk on water? How low is the lowest place on earth? Is Israel just a camel-filled war zone? If you’re curious, let’s book this one for you.

Ostensibly the story of a secret service (Mossad) agent sent to find and eliminate an aging Nazi war criminal, this movie soon evolves into a journey of self-discovery. Eyal is coping with his wife’s untimely death the only way he knows: by working. When he learns that his target’s grandchildren, a brother and sister, are actually visiting Israel, he goes undercover as a tour guide. While walking them through Israel’s highlights, he befriends the gay brother - despite his apparent homophobia, discovers that Germans can be warm, and mostly learns to open up emotionally. All this makes it much more difficult for him to fulfill his duty when he finally reaches his target…

Trip highlights: The Dead Sea, the Old City of Jerusalem, a kibbutz, Tel Aviv’s hottest night venues, and of course (trying to) walk on water.

5. Russia

The Return (2003)

If you’re into camping, fishing and hiking in the bleak Russian wilderness, this one is for you. Or maybe that’s not the summer vacation you had in mind (unless you’re a KGB/Securitate graduate) - but the movie is worth the trip, though it’s definitely not a feel-good experience.

The father of two young brothers suddenly appears out of nowhere - previously they’d known him from just a single picture. He takes them on a trip deep into the Russian wilderness, in what seems to be a kind of bonding-initiation journey. While the older brother unquestionably accepts his father’s presence and orders, the defiant younger brother wants some answers about his father’s past. But as the trio near their destination, a deserted island, the tension between them intensifies, and the question marks just get bigger.

4. Mongolia

The Story of the Weeping Camel (2003)

Amazing desert scenery, simple living, innocence, animals… this is like a trip inside National Geographic.

Again centered on two young brothers, this is a touching, heartwarming tale. A newborn camel is rejected by his mother after a long and difficult delivery. The little white calf has little chances of survival without his mother’s love, and milk. As a last resort, two young brothers from a nomadic family are sent on a journey through the desert to a remote village, to bring back a musician who can perform a ritual of folk music and chanting to make the mother accept her calf. During their travels, the kids are exposed to a more westernized way of life (television!), adding gentle humor.

3. Iceland

Cold Fever (1995)

If it’s heat and humidity you wish to escape, why not go all the way and take your vacation in Iceland?

Hirata, a young Japanese man, plans to avoid the cold winter in Hawaii. Instead, in obedience to his grandfather, he travels to even colder Iceland, to arrange a proper farewell ceremony and lay to rest the souls of his parents, who died there several years earlier. But from the moment Hirata lands, nothing goes right. This journey of humor, spirituality and amazing scenery takes us through a blizzard, hot springs, nativity pageant, truck ride, funeral, and many eccentric people, including Bonnie and Clyde wannabes and Icelandic cowboys…

2. Bhutan

Travellers & Magicians (2003)

Now this is a destination that will make your friends envious! Locked between China and India, Bhutan is no longer isolated from the world, yet still holds onto its traditions and belief in the philosophy of Gross National Happiness (rather than Product).

This spiritual, uplifting story of two restless souls was the first to be shot entirely within Bhutan. Dondup is a young, impatient urbanite who plans to abandon his home and tradition for the land of opportunities – America. When he misses his ride, he finds himself hitching with several other characters, including a monk. The monk begins to tell the story of the other restless soul, Tashi (not Samsara’s Tashi), a magician who doesn’t believe in good old magic. Instead he tries magic within the corporate world, and soon lands in a dangerous conspiracy. The lesson for Dondup is clear – be satisfied with what life has dealt you.

There’s plenty of company on this trip: A dramyin-playing monk, a rice-paper maker and his college-aged daughter, and of course Tashi, his brother Karma, and more…

1. Cruise

A Talking Picture (2003)

Let’s finish with a cruise! Through the Indian and Mediterranean oceans, from Portugal to India, via France, Italy, Greece, Turkey and Egypt.

In this elegant, witty tale, a professor takes her young daughter on a cruise from Lisbon to meet her father in Bombay. During the trip we get a lesson in world history, as delivered by the professor to her daughter at their different stops. And at each stop, another character boards the ship, until finally all of them gather for dinner with the captain, all speaking their own languages like a modern Tower of Babel.

Plus check out these new picks from the San Francisco International Film Festival from Argentina and China on GreenCine.

We hope you’ll enjoy the fresh perspectives your summer vacation brings, wherever it may be. And let us know what we missed!

Search on Jinni for:
Vacation * Himalayas * Italy * Japan * Israel * Russia * Mongolia * Iceland * Cruise * Road movie * Nothing goes right * Self discovery * Mind and soul * Uplifting * Critically acclaimed* Holiday * Atmospheric * Folk music * Ethnic * Captivating

Technorati Tags: movie, movie genome, foreign film

Popularity: 11% [?]