Hollywood LOVES to remake films, especially foreign ones. The immediate (and sadly, largely true) assumption is that Americans won’t bother to read subtitles. For this reason we now get a remake for The Dinner Game – a French comedy with a goofy hero that was quite successful back in 1998 – I wonder what took them so long…

We like goofy heroes, and we really loved the original Dinner Game. But when it comes to remakes, it’s a whole different story. So in hopes that Hollywood (and all of us) might learn from past mistakes, here’s a cautionary list of the 5 worst remakes of the 2000s.

5. Swept Away (2002)

You would think that if a movie has done well with critics and audiences, made a decent amount of money, and won awards, there won’t be any need to spoil it. Right? Wrong!!!

This is what happens when you give Madonna – the woman who hasn’t made a single good film in her life - the leading role in the remake of a beloved European classic.

The Lina Wertmuller original from 1974 attracted controversy, but there is no arguing about its importance and artistic quality. The remake, however, starred at the Razzies: It won 5 awards and was nominated as the worst film (and Madonna as the worst actress) of the decade. And it gets only 5% positive reviews at Rotten Tomatoes.

4. Poseidon (2006)

A film does not have to be a masterpiece in order to be ruined in a remake.

The Poseidon Adventure, a simple, thrilling summer adventure, was no masterpiece, but it did win an Oscar for special effects and had good actors like Gene Hackman and Shelley Winters. With a past record of successfully making exciting disaster films, Wolfgang Petersen nonetheless managed to make Poseidon so irritating and worthless that I could not wait for the passengers to DROWN ALREADY! Unfortunately some of them did manage to survive…

3. The Women (2008)

The original comedy drama from 1939 was witty, sharp and stylish. It is considered one of the high points of the classic studio-system era, and was selected for preservation by the U.S. National Film Registry.

Expectations rose high with the remake in 2008 – after all, how bad could it be with a cast including Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Bette Midler, Candice Bergen, Debra Messing… and many more?

Well, the answer is: Very bad. The stereotypical remake lacked all the charm and wit that made the original a success.

2. The Pink Panther (2006)

Peter Sellers in his unforgettable role as inspector Jacques Clouseau really made this film – it was funny, exciting and witty. When Steve Martin was chosen to fill his big shoes, it seemed not such a bad choice, considering Martin’s comic talent and excellent roles in films like Father of the Bride, Parenthood and The Jerk. Unfortunately, it turned out that Martin’s best days were behind him. Combining this with a failed script made the movie was a critical failure. Financially, however, it did quite well and even got a sequel – which sadly was even worse than the remake.

1. House of Wax (2005)

Paris Hilton – you cannot act!

Seriously, how hard can it be to act in a horror flick? All you have to do is look vulnerable and scream… but Hilton managed to fail even with that and at the Razzie awards she was elected as worst actress of the decade for her role in this film.

The remake bears very little resemblance to the original 1953 version, which was eerie and chilling with the help of horror legend Vincent Price.

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