There’s a great music rivalry between the USA and England. It’s an age-old question, which country produced the greatest musicians or bands, a question that won’t ever get a definitive answer. So I wanted to narrow down this rivalry to the big screen, in hopes that I’d get a more decisive answer. Lucky for me, we’re celebrating Paul McCartney’s 70^th(!) birthday today. The day after tomorrow, as if to restore the balance of musical power, Brian Wilson turns 70. Could there be a better timing or better talents to represent this rivalry? It’s Beatles versus The Beach Boys! England vs. USA! (Age before beauty) The winner takes it all (the loser not standing small!)

However, a single contest won’t do justice to either of these two powerhouses. No worries, I shall make it a grand event, and call it: The Music Olympics! No, The Musilympics©. A quick apology to the rest of the world for ignoring it, but sometimes the end justifies the means. General criteria: the music’s nationality counts here, not the creator’s nationality. Here are the disciplines:

1. The Musical
(It’s like a competition between opening ceremonies):

Across the Universe (2007) vs. Rock of Ages (2012)

I chose not to go old school in this discipline. The psychedelic musical romance about two lovers singing old Beatles’ classics surprisingly works, even if the story is not that original. The New Musical giving homage to the Hair-Metal heydays of the 80s doesn’t take itself seriously, and rightly so. The young cast is pretty bland, but excellent performances from Tom Cruise, Paul Giamatti, Alec Baldwin and Catherine Zeta-Jones save this film from its mediocrity. Still, music-wise, The Beatles take the prize, and give England an early 1-0 advantage.

2. Cultural Icon:

Nowhere Boy (2010) vs. I’m Not There (2007)

Telling the story of young John Lennon before The Beatles ruled the world, Nowhere Boy concentrates on the person rather than his music; it’s a prequel to Lennon. Thanks to a restrained tone and great acting, we get a believable account of how this legend was formed. On the other side, Todd Haynes gave up on trying to understand enigmatic musical troubadour Bob Dylan, and just gave us what he has on him. We need to figure him out. Originality and music gives Dylan the edge, and the American empire strikes back. 1-1.

3. The Mockumentary:

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) vs. A Mighty Wind (2003)

This is probably my favorite discipline, but it’s a pretty one-sided one. Spinal Tap, the silliest serious British heavy metal band ever, is one of the greatest comedies of all time. It’s original, hilarious beyond words, clever and precise, without seeming to be. Christopher Guest wrote Spinal Tap and 19 years later directed “A Mighty Wind,” about a fake reunion concert of three folk music bands, which is also very funny, but what can you do… The original empire completes an early turnaround. 2-1 to England.

4. The Mini Series:

The Singing Detective (1986) vs. Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog (2008)

Dennis Potter wrote this British Masterpiece mystery drama, about a detective… who sings. He is up against a fellow offbeat musical, by director of the day Joss Whedon, about a master villain… who sings. Both titles are very original in their own way, and both will surprise you from start to end. I love them both, so I’ll give it a draw. 3-2, England stays in the lead.

5. Music Band:

Control (2007) vs. The Doors (1991)

Joy Division encapsulated a lot of what we think of Britain – grim, urban and in black and white. By contrast, The Doors’ psychedelic music makes you think of Los Angeles. Both bands had new sounds for their time, and a (very differently) charismatic lead singer who died in his twenties. Director Anton Corbijn successfully captured the atmosphere of early eighties Manchester, and the delicate psyche of an enigmatic Ian Curtis. Val Kilmer’s best performance of his career (as Jim Morrison) and Oliver Stone’s fitting surreal style give the gloomy Brits a fight, but come up short. 4-2, and the Englishmen open a promising, yet reserved advantage.

6. The non-musician’s perspective:

24 Hour Party People (2002) vs. Almost Famous (2000)

This seems like a made-up category, but the Olympics are full of those. So will it be the biography about Tony Wilson, who almost singlehandedly created the Manchester Rave music scene without playing a single note? Or the experiences of a young music writer’s first time on the road, covering an up and coming band during the swinging 70s in the States? Michael Winterbottom’s post-punk flic about one of the best worst businessmen ever, wins easily. Steve Coogan and Winterbottom fittingly make a unique film about a unique man, who really didn’t care about the money, only about the music. 5-2 to England, who threaten to run away with it.

7. Musician/Actor (in a non-music film):

David Bowie in Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence (1983) vs. Tom Waits in Short Cuts (1993)

Both competitors here are musical legends and are probably honored to be pitted against each other. Both giants also never conformed to the music norms, but created new norms; and both have pretty good acting careers under their belts, which never interfered with their music. Bowie gives an outstanding performance in Nagisa Oshima’s powerful war drama, but Tom Waits wins this duel, thanks to the brilliance of Robert Altman, who cleverly created a complex study of human nature in Los Angeles. 5-3, and America is still alive in this competition.

8. Punk vs. Hip Hop:

The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle (1980) vs. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party (2005)

Both music genres came up from the spirit of rebelliousness. Punk rose to rebel against everything British - proper manners, the royal family and Margaret Thatcher. Hip-hop was the black man’s vessel to break out of poverty, and fight the power. Julien Temple’s achievement lies in the lack of historical perspective, capturing what it meant to be punk at the time, and letting the Sex Pistols be who they are, not talk about what they are. It’s a wild, somewhat incoherent and very funny ride. And that’s what they were. Michel Gondry’s documentary has some of the “I don’t know what’s going to happen” vibe following Chappelle as he tries to organize a hip-hop concert/block party. My verdict: a draw. 6-4.

9. Music Concert:

Gimme Shelter (1970) vs. Stop Making Sense (1984)

In December 1969, The Rolling Stones gave a free concert in Northern California, during which a fan died at the hands of the Hell’s Angels, who were in charge of security. Some say, this event represents the end of the naïve 60s. This film, showing us everything that went on around this event, is an important historical document. Jonathan Demme’s depiction of a Talking Heads concert does not seem as historically important, but it benefits from the bands’ own visual imagination and innovation, and a fresh new energy. Today, both serve as good examples for how to make such a film, and I’ll let both of them win. 7-5, England stand its ground, and secures the win.

10. What Do the Neighbors Say?

Once (2006) vs. Anvil! The Story of Anvil! (2008)

For the final (and very made up) category, we have a folk musical from Ireland against the comeback attempt of a Canadian metal band that never quite made it. One is a different kind of musical, with an understated and down to earth tone, and a touching story. On the other side, you have all the elements fit for a mockumentary: the loser protagonist - an aging metal-head, the incompetent manager (and musicians), and mishaps on the road. But the surprising result is anything but insulting or comedic. It’s a touching tail of friendship and failure. Canada comes out on top, and gives the US the last point to make 7-6 to England.

Overall Match-up:

Yes, England came ahead in this duel, but most of the filmmakers of music films are American – so for that reason, America gets the nod, and finishes this confrontation with the tie it deserves.

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Technorati Tags: Paul McCartney, Brian Wilson, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, Across the Universe, Rock of Ages, Tom Cruise, Paul Giamatti, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Nowhere Boy, I’m Not There, John Lennon, Todd Haynes, Bob Dylan, This is Spinal Tap, A Mighty Wind, Christopher Guest, The Singing Detective, Dr. Horrible Sing-Along Blog, Dennis Potter, Control, The Doors, Joy Division, Anton Corbijn, Ian Curtis, Val Kilmer, Jim Morrison, Oliver Stone, 24 Hour Party People, Almost Famous, Tony Wilson, Michael Winterbottom, Steve Coogan, David Bowie, Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, Tom Waits, Short Cuts, Nagisa Oshima, Robert Altman, Punk music, Hip Hop music, The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle, Dave Chappelle’s Block Party, Margaret Thatcher, Julien Temple, Sex Pistols, Michel Gondry, Gimme Shelter, Stop Making Sense, The Rolling Stones, Talking Heads, Once, Anvil! The Story of Anvil!

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