“I’m too old for this shit!”
July 17th, 2012 by AmiIt seems that just yesterday Danny Glover memorably murmured this, but actually, it was 25 years ago, and he was just 41. Many actors whom most of us grew up on (or with) are celebrating birthdays this month, and they are not as young as we might (or like to) think.
Here are 11 memorable actors I grew up on, who celebrate a birthday this month. Let’s see which title made them memorable (to me), and how well they’ve aged.
Harrison Ford is 70
Memorable movie:
Raiders of the Lost Arc. I was 8, he was already 39, and it was fun-tastic! (and also a close call with the first Star Wars - excuse me Lucas for counting differently.)
Career high:
Throughout the 80’s and even the 90’s: Blade Runner, Frantic, Witness, Working Girl, The Indiana Jones trilogy, The Fugitive, The Jack Ryan titles, Air Force One.
Career low:
It seems the Millennium Bug did have an effect after all (or maybe it’s Calista Flockhart?), as Ford wasn’t able to make even one good performance since. I guess it’s people like me with their childhood memories who mistakenly give him one last chance, time and time again. Among the embarrassments: Hollywood Homicide, Firewall and the 4th Indiana Jones (brace yourself, a fifth was announced..!)
Sylvester Stallone is 66
Memorable movie:
Surprise surprise, but for me it wasn’t Rocky (I was too young for that shit), but rather - Rocky III. Three years after surviving the Eye of the Tiger brainwash, Rambo took over (allowing a 12 year old to be exposed to such violence – where was the parental guidance under 13? I demand to know!)
Career high:
It’s sly, you can’t really say the bar was ever high; other than Rocky I & II (and some argue that also First Blood), the 80’s, a decade famous for it’s bad taste, holds fond memories with superb performances (and bad pronunciations) like: Rambo 3, Cobra, Rocky IV & V, and Tango & Cash. Some appreciate his comeback during recent years with Rambo 4, Rocky VI and The Expendables. My fond memories from the 80’s were ruined by his mediocre 90’s, so maybe I should allow this comeback to make amends.
Career low:
All the rest, especially during the 90’s.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is 65
Memorable movie:
Was it Commando or The Terminator that I saw first? The later had hard, unanswered existential questions, but the former had the hot Samantha Micelli in it, so for an 11 year old, they were of equal quality.
Career high:
Governor of California during the 2000’s. Not! The Terminator was followed by a handful of exciting, fast one-man-army titles throughout the 80’s & the 90’s, with the better ones keeping Arnold’s text to a minimum. But even the comedy Twins was good.
Career low:
Like his colleague to speech therapy and one-man-army titles (Stallone), Arnie’s career saw a decline towards the new millennium. Turning to politics was a smart move, probably saving him from expected cinematic embarrassments. Let’s hope his upcoming comeback will be as good as Stallone’s. Politics at least contributed to his pronunciation skills, maybe we’ll even see him in a drama! (do we really want that though..?)
Robin Williams is 62
Memorable movie:
Given that Mork & Mindy wasn’t a big hit in my country, and Happy Days, with all due respect, belongs to The Fonz.
Career high:
Robin Williams has a very versatile career, with comedies, dramas and thrillers. He’s at his best when he exercises his irreverent humor, like in Aladdin, Cadillac Man, Mrs. Doubtfire and The Birdcage. When he gets all touchy and emotional, I feel some embarrassment watching his performances, although I did enjoy Awakening, Dead Poets Society, Fisher King, and Good Will Hunting.
Career low:
While his picks in the 80’s were generally good, his 90’s and 2000’s were unstable, with good and bad performances hand in hand, like Hook, Nine Months, Father’s Day, Jack, House of D, Flubber and his record breaking most recent title: Old Dogs – 5% on rottentomatoes!
Dan Aykroyd is 60
Memorable movie:
The Blues Brothers, can there be any other option? (especially after seeing it about 50 times…)
Career high:
The Blues Brothers, can there be any other option? Okay; The Ghostbusters, Spies Like Us and Trading Places were also great.
Career low:
Probably most of his career… It’s time to admit - he’s not a good actor, he just was lucky to be co-starring alongside other great comedians in few great movies. But if I need to pick just one, I’ll choose a symbolic one: Blues Brothers 2000. I still wait for an indictment against all those who took part in the attempt to destroy the reputation of the original masterpiece.
Tom Hanks is 56
56? That’s all?! It feels like he’s been around forever.
Memorable movie:
Big is the expected answer – show me a kid that can resist a scenario of working in a toy store? But I’ll surprise with Bachelor Party. Yep, way before The Hangover, this was the ultimate irreverent-party-gone-awry title. It also offers a glimpse to the irreverent comic potential Hanks once possessed.
Career high:
Not that we can complain about the path Hanks had chosen: Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Sleepless in Seattle, Philadelphia, Apollo 13, The Green Mile, Castaway, and I have to stop here because of space limit.
Career low:
Hanks actually co-starred with Aykroyd in the awful Dragnet. Luckily, for Hanks it was one of very few lows. But when he did sink low, it was extreme: The Terminal and Larry Crown
Kevin Bacon is 54
54? No way! his baby face is only second to that of DiCaprio’s!
Memorable movie:
Although Bacon appeared in one of my all time favorites, Animal House, I’ll have to go with Footloose, which I saw first (I was 11; you need to be a little older to appreciate Animal House’s irreverence and grossout humor). Footloose, the third installment in the music trilogy that began with Fame and continued with Flashdance (hopefully they will not remake it too), also had a good soundtrack, which played constantly in our house, since my brother won the record (that black round thing with scratches) in a radio show contest.
Career high:
Kevin Bacon has versatile performances, which are not less memorable than my childhood one, but the main association I have about them is him playing negative, dark or bleak characters: Flatliners, Sleepers, Mystic River and the under-appreciated The Woodsman, to list just a few.
Career low:
Loverboy? In the Cut? Hollow Man? They weren’t good, but not that bad or really embarrassing.
Kevin Spacey is 53
Memorable movie:
I’ll go with the consensus – The Usual Suspects. Aspiring to be a director at the time, it had me sitting night after night, trying to come up with the next amazing twist and turns script.
Career high:
Like Harrison Ford, Spacey is a late bloomer, who rose to fame in his late 30’s, although unlike Ford, he did star in acclaimed titles before, like Glengarry Glen Ross. In the same year he portrayed the mysterious Keyser Soze, he played another mysterious criminal in Se7en, this time only by voice, but it felt as if he was on screen. Other highs: American Beauty, L.A. Confidential, and I even liked his over-the-top villainous roles in Superman Returns and Horrible Bosses.
Career low:
Not too many, at least according to the masses and not the critics. For me, it was the too noble Pay it Forward, and the cinematic disaster Edison Force – how did so many talented actors lose their talent in that one?
Woody Harrelson is 51
Memorable movie:
White Men Can’t Jump. So many “your mother” insults, exactly when I needed them, during my late teen years.
Career high:
Cheers, EdTV and on a very different note, Natural Born Killers. Have you noticed a pattern there? In the four titles mentioned so far, Harrelson plays not so bright characters, not to say dimwits. Unfortunately, this magic charm didn’t last long (see below). He was also good in No Country for Old Men and North Country.
Career low:
For me, Woody is an unfulfilled promise. Each time he’s in a movie I so much want it to be good, and mostly I get disappointed. To name a few: Money Train, Scorched and Semi-Pro.
Wesley Snipes is 50
Memorable movie:
A bit of a déjà-vu here: White Men Can’t Jump.
Career high:
Released the same year: Passenger 57 – Die Hard on a plane (and together with Under Siege – Die Hard on a ship - ruined the rumored original plans for Die Hard 3.) Few fair movies that followed were Demolition Man, US Marshalls and some also consider the Blade trilogy (not my cup of blood.)
Career low:
Like his buddy Woody, Wesley didn’t leave a big mark on cinematic history. Unlike Woody, he doesn’t have the talent. His star power helped his titles make it to the cinemas during the 90’s, despite being deserved a strait-to-DVD release (those round silver disks; this term should be renamed: strait-to-streaming). In the 2000’s, many indeed skipped the cinemas.
Tom Cruise is unbelievably 50!!!
Memorable movie:
Top Gun
Career High:
It took him 7 movies and 5 years to get to the top (gun) at the age of 24 and he stayed there throughout his next 25 (only 25) titles. Woody and Wesley - this is how you want your career to look like at 50. I guess the lucky charm is in the mix of charisma and looks. No point to list almost all his titles here, but it’s good to know the guy can also do offbeat hilarious roles like Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder.
Career Low:
Even his lows among critics, like Cocktail (14% on Rottentomatoes), were loveable box office successes. So until the speculated Top Gun 2 will be a reality, we’ll have to settle with sofa jumping, choosing a ridiculous name for his child, and actually the whole Katie Holmes phase.
And me, I’m turning 40 soon. Oh boy, I’m getting old! (but not for this shit… :)
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Technorati Tags: Danny Glover, Harrison Ford, Raiders of the lost Arc, Star Wars, Blade Runner, Frantic, Witness, Working Gil, Indiana Jones, The Fugitive, Jack Ryan, Air Force One, Calista Flockhart, Hollywood Homicide, Firewall, Sylvester Stallone, Rocky, Eye of the Tiger, Rambo, First Blood, Cobra, Tango, Cash, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Commando, The Terminator, Samantha Micelli, Twins, Robin Williams, Mork & Mindy, Happy Days, The Fonz, Aladdin, Cadillac Man, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Birdcage, Hook, Nine Months, Father’s Day, Jack, House of D, Flubber, old Dogs, Dan Aykroyd, The bBlues Brothers, The Ghostbusters, Spies Like us, Trading Places, Tom Hanks, Big, Bachelor Party, The Hangover, Forest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Sleepless in Space limit, Dragnet, The Terminal, Larry Crown, Kevin Bacon, Animal House, Foodloose, Fame, Flashdance, The Woodsman, Flatliners, Sleepers, Mystic River, Loverboy, In the Cut, Hollow Man, Kevin Spacey, The Usual Suspects, Se7en, American Beauty, L.A. Confidential, Superman Returns, Horrible Bosses, Pay it Forward, Edison Force, Woody Harrelson, White Men Can’t Jump, Cheers, EdTV, Natural Born Killers, No Country for Old Men, North Country, Money Train, Scorched and semi-Pro, Wesley Snipes, White Men Can’t Jump, Passenger 57, Demolition Man, US Marshalls, Tom Cruise, Top Gun, Les Grossman, Tropic Thunder, Cocktail, Top Gun 2, Katie Homes
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